It Is So Hard….

I was so happy when I pulled onto our street tonight.  Josh was over.   I was so happy I cried in the van.  I pulled myself together and came into see him.   He wasn’t gonna stay for supper as he needed to do laundry as he didn’t get it done on his day off. 

I love seeing him, but it is so hard.  When I see him it makes me realize how much I miss him.  And then he leaves again to go home.  The leaving is the hardest for me.  I tried so hard to not cry in front of him as I don’t want to make him feel bad, but I really miss him so much.   It is like he is a part of me.  It has always been Jenny and Josh.   Then I got married and then we were a family and along came Tommy as well.  But there are times I am so happy to just sneak off to the store with just Josh and have a small taste of old times…..Jenny and Josh.

I am finding I am having a hard time imagining my life without children living in my home to take care of.  That is who I am and what I do.  I take care of kids at home and work.  I know these are all good thing.  My son is a mature young man who I am very proud of.  He just got a promotion at work and he is really valued there for his intelligence and work ethic.  He has moved up to an ITS2 an equal position to my husband.  He totally skipped being an ITS1.   Josh will be the Share Point Adminstrator.  He will be running the share point server at the college. 

I do know that the time will come that I will have grandchildren and they will be the loves of my lives……just like my sons.  I am sure I will drive my sons NUTS!!    I am off to bed to read…..

Good Night!!!   Go hug your children and be thankful for needing to go pick up their socks and junk, soon enough that stuff won’t be there to annoy you any longer.   I always called Josh leaving his junk all over the house, “Josh Droppings” and believe it or not I miss them.

Jen C 

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0 responses to “It Is So Hard….

  1. Oh my goodness!  I am laughing my butt off over the Josh Droppings! lol.  That’s just the perfect thing to call it!  Especially as it’s almost midnight and I’m picking up all the “droppings” in our house!  Mainly laundry, that pile never ends!  I know I will be a mess when my kids move out!  I am so treasuring being at home with them that I don’t want to do housework I just want to play!  Then when they go to work I have to clean and other important things like, you know, blogging! lol

  2. This made me teary! My little ones make me crazy every day, but I’m so thankful they’re still little, and here! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle an empty nest!

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